“It isn’t stress that makes us fall-it’s how we respond to stressful events”
-Wayde Goodall.

You may be experiencing the stress of Covid-19 and its impact on your daily life. Surveys show that Covid-19 and the resulting lockdowns and restrictions may be impacting your mental health. So, what can you do as an individual to cope with this situation? Developing self-awareness is a crucial part of the answer. When you are self-aware you are able to recognize your negative emotions. You may then redirect those emotions to continue a productive creative life. In the time of crisis, managing your emotions is essential to helping you cope and thrive.

My own journey to developing self-awareness began 15 years ago in my pursuit for spiritual renewal. I attended Seminary, where I discovered my call to ministry followed by Graduate School where I completed the academic work required for a Licensed Therapist. At each level of my spiritual and academic journey was the requirement for reflection essays to promote self-awareness. I was advised and required to keep journals for a written record of my thoughts. This allowed me to reflect on my thoughts more easily. I kept prayer journals for a record of my spiritual and emotional growth.

Now, as a therapist I work with clients to help them develop self-awareness. When you are aware of your inner-self, environment, culture, spirituality, and relationship with others, you can live an authentic life and maintain good mental and emotional health. 

What is Self-Awareness?

Self-awareness is about knowing who you are and what matters to you and being able to name and understand your feelings. It’s about understanding your strengths and weaknesses, being able to identify warning signs when your mental well-being is at risk and knowing what steps will help you to turn things around.

Why is Self-Awareness Important?

Self-improvement – Becoming self-aware is a starting point for self-improvement. By getting to know your strengths, weaknesses, feelings, and emotions, you can start living an active lifestyle rather than a passive one. It is the road to determining your purpose in life. You discover your passion, your strength and growth areas to allow you to pursue your dream. 

Choices – Self-awareness can help you make better choices. You recognize how feelings based on the past affect your current relationships. Upon realizing the connection, you can begin to make better choices, leading you to more loving relationships.

Empathy – Self-Awareness can teach you empathy. A study by psychologists on the relationship between self-awareness and empathy showed they are very intimately connected. Once you become more aware of what makes you who you are, you are better able to understand the differences between yourself and others, and what makes them who they are.

Manage Emotions – Self-Awareness helps you understand how your emotions affect your body. Anger can drain your body and mental energy, leaving a bitter aftertaste of remorse which makes you feel sad. Depending on the intensity of your anger, you may experience tightness in the chest, stiff muscles, body tension, and raised body temperature. When you recognize and understand how your emotions affect your body, you can manage the emotion. This can open the door to a happier life.

How Self-Aware Are you?

Interestingly, we all believe we are more self-aware than we really are. Reflecting on the following questions may help you determine how self-aware you are.

Do you listen more than you talk?

Are you curious about your own mind?

Do you look for your emotional blind spots?

Do you ask for feedback? And do you take it well?

Do you reflect on your own values?

So, how do you become more self-aware?

Keep a Journal – Writing is a way to process your thoughts and think through problems. Be mindful of your thoughts each day. Ask yourself: What issues do I have to resolve in my life? Do I listen with the intent of understanding others? Or Am I listening with the intent to reply? What do I need to change? What is one Action I can take to Improve? Record your responses in your journal each night. 

Listening – Try to be a better listener for family, friends, colleagues. This means being fully present and paying attention to the speaker’s words, emotions, and even body language, without making judgments or drifting off into your own world. By learning to lend an ear to others, you’ll also become a better listener to your inner voice. Listen to others with the intent of understanding them instead of listening with the intent to reply.

Prayer – If you are a spiritual person, you might pray for wisdom and ability to discern inner qualities and relationships. Saint Augustine, the great Theologian, suggests that there is a connection between self-awareness and God. He wrote in Confessions, “How can you draw close to God when you are far from your own self? He prayed: “Grant, Lord, that I may know myself that I may know thee.”

Cinematherapy – Watching movies can be very effective for healing, growth, and personal reflection. The movie can cause you to self-reflect, see yourself in the characters and/or make a connection with your own emotions regarding certain situations. You can gain insight into your own feelings and emotions or into others. Look for movies with a Self-Awareness/Self-discovery theme such as Into the Wild (2007) or Three Colors: Blue (1993).

Loss History and Relationship Graphs – Chart your significant losses beginning with your earliest recollection. Examples of loses include death of a loved one or something important to you. This may be a move/relocation; a divorce or romantic breakup. You may have experienced a trauma (sexual assault/abuse) giving you a sense of loss of control. Other examples are loss of a pregnancy or of emotional support from parents who were addicted to a substance. Reflect on your feelings at the time of the loss and how you feel about the loss currently. The second part is to look at any unresolved relationship issues. Determine how to resolve any issues such as forgiveness of self or others.

The journey to developing self-awareness can be difficult and can take time. Building self-awareness requires resilience, inner strength, openness and curiosity along with commitment to do the work. If you are experiencing stress or feeling stuck in life, you may be thinking about starting therapy. If you have not decided it is the right time to see a therapist. Now is the right time! Whatever is keeping you stuck or causing stress in your life, the therapist can work through it with you. 

Sources

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Picture Retrieved from https://unsplash.com/s/photos/self-awareness 

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The views and opinions expressed in this article are those solely of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the Center for Pastoral Counseling of Virginia.

Image credit: https://unsplash.com/photos/kfbgt78ZsVE