During the month of January, so many of us embark upon new habits of self-care and wellness in the spirit of the well-known “New Year’s Resolution.” These resolutions may range from new physical fitness and nutrition commitments to promises of communicating with loved ones more frequently or more calmly. My own self-disclosure and confession—I have started “New Year’s Resolutions” only to abandon them by February so many times that I cannot count. The struggle for individual change can be quite a challenge. Recent events in the news are a reminder of how in need of collective change we are as Americans. With as much social change as our nation has claimed in the last half-century, there is a heightening of division being experienced today. And this tension threatens to affect individual mental health.

An increase of energy reinforcing racial and ethnic discrimination, gender bias, xenophobia, and other forms of marginalization can ignite depression, anxiety, and acute stress in those who are targets. Whether it is because of direct victimization or because of constant exposure to stories of discrimination through news, the barrage of incidents that further separation and division can cause us to constantly ask–is anyone safe and what has happened to human civility? In addition, microaggressions against people based on race, gender identity, sexual orientation, language, and other characteristics can cause individuals to question whether or not these subtle slights or insults have actually happened.

What do we do as this spirit of division and separation threatens our own well-being? How do we handle traumatic experiences that we encounter directly or vicariously that are motivated by any type of cultural difference? I encourage the following strategies:

1. Talk about it.
2. Celebrate your own story.
3. Engage in affirming activities
4. Participate in advocacy.

Talk about it. Experiencing misunderstanding and discrimination can generate feelings of intense isolation and loneliness. At times we might ask ourselves if we are responsible for this mistreatment or if we are being hypersensitive. Sharing such experiences with others can decrease the tendency to see self as alone. It is a reminder that unjust treatment experienced is systemic and not directed at the individual target alone. In candid and honest conversations about discriminatory behaviors, construction responses and solutions can also surface.

Professional contacts, friends, and family members can all be wonderful sources of support when dealing with the stressors that issue from the spirit of separation and division seen today. However, some individuals may be in need of a more therapeutic environment in which to sort through experiences and reactions to those experiences. Therapists, such as those affiliated with the Center for Pastoral Counseling of Virginia, can help you manage the stress associated with a divisive atmosphere and support you in generating your own response to environments that may not be healthy.

Celebrate your own story. In the face of negative messages about one’s cultural identity, it is so important to proactively surround oneself with balanced, true narratives. I recommend bibliotherapy that involves reading works by and about marginalized identities that may be undermined in your experience. Watching movies or documentaries can have the same effect, as well as participating in cultural events or visiting museums or other exhibits.

Each year as the nation celebrates the Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday, I try to remind myself of all the people of color over the years of the nation’s existence who have given their lives for freedom and equality. It is a chance for me to celebrate much lesser-known moments of sacrifice that members of my own family made to advance voter rights or access to just treatment at places of employment in their own local communities.

Engage in affirming activities. I remember the first year I participated in Relay for Life after my mother was diagnosed the first time with breast cancer. Even if it was just about raising awareness, it made me and the rest of the family feel we could do something to help improve her situation and that of others. It was also fun and enjoyable to walk around a track or to sit around as a group sharing memories and learning stories from other cancer survivors. This same sense of empowerment and connection can result from attending the Women’s March or other such activities. This is all about placing ourselves in situations that remind us of support and connection.  

Participate in advocacy. Advocacy can happen in so many varied ways. A letter writing campaign to Congressional representatives about the need for a proper path to citizenship for DREAMERS is important. I also think of advocacy as having conversations in the workplace when you know individuals are openly embracing and promoting myths about undocumented immigrants. Advocacy may mean participating in a day-of-service meant to benefit and empower persons who have physical or intellectual differences.

A commitment to advocacy constantly keeps before us the question of what I can do to make things better in a challenging environment. It is a reminder that, though I cannot forcefully control others, I can control my response. It also keeps us mindful that systemic change which highlights the value and dignity of every human person demands some contribution from all of us.

“If I cannot do great things, I can do small things in a great way.”

― Martin Luther King Jr.

The revolution in how we operate and relate to one another as fellow human beings begins with a resolve to do something different in terms of our response to inequalities and misjudgments we may see all the time. It can be frightening to commit to respond differently. Counseling can be a safe space in which you can reflect upon how the current climate has affected your well being and self image as well as upon how you choose to respond so as to empower yourself and others.  

If you are looking for this type of safe and empowering space and think that therapy might help, please contact us at the Center for Pastoral Counseling.  Any of our many caring therapists are ready to journey with you.

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