In addressing the topic of Stress; I always like to start by pointing out the obvious.  If you don’t manage stress, it will manage you. Stress is crafty; it takes over your body, mind and spirit. We cannot prevent all stress, so we must learn how to minimize it and fight the negative effects of it as best as we are able.

It is important to realize that stress is not “good” or “bad”, it is our own personal response to changes and demands.  We become stressed by events that are considered positive. Weddings, the birth of a baby, a promotion – all these involve changes and certain demands.  All of them are potential sources of stress. When stress is related to a negative source, it can make the battle to gain the upper hand even more challenging.

As mentioned, stress affects us in body, mind and spirit.  Often, people don’t realize these affects. Below is a partial list of stress related issues in each of the three areas, so you can see the importance of managing stress:

Body:  Blood pressure problems, gastro-intestinal problems, headaches, migraine trigger, lowered immunity, increased or decreased appetite, fatigue

Mind:  Difficulty concentrating, easily irritated, lack of focus, anxiety, worry, mood changes, forgetfulness, difficulty making decisions

Spirit:  Feelings of hopelessness, feeling dis-connected from others, not making spiritual practices a priority, self-pity, believing you are not enough.  

Fighting stress and experiencing any of these complicates the process.

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The following suggestions are only brief descriptions of things to consider in the quest to manage stress.  Don’t hesitate to seek professional help from a counselor or a life coach, if you need more support.

Procrastination – both ally and enemy.  Many people are convinced that leaving things till some last minute helps them do their best work.  I only leave a caution here. There is some research that finds that the adrenalin associated with procrastinating, then having to perform, does give a certain amount of boost.  However, be aware – there is a point at which this effect quickly reverses; and makes success difficult or impossible. And, this point is a very sudden and hard stop, that you may not see coming.  Balance is very important, then. in terms of not putting off things that you obviously will not have time to finish – and still take care of yourself and other responsibilities.

Organization – a pain and a gift.  If you can find your way to organizing the various aspects and responsibilities of your life (ahead of demanding times); it will go a long way to reducing much of your stress. Some people love to organize, some loathe it.  If you are the latter grab a friend who is the former and let them help you. Supplies, lists, reminder systems, organized files – all of these will truly help your stress.

Asking for help – mixed blessing.  Some of us have a hard time asking for help.  If you have too much on your plate, it is time to put your ego or control issues aside; and get some help. It is important to be specific about the help you need, so that you get what is helpful. Don’t make a general “shout out”.  Ask specific people. Expect that not everyone will say yes, and don’t take it personally. This is true in work, church activities, the home, and social responsibilities. Then most importantly, let the person do what you have asked them to.

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Boundaries – gates not locked doors.  Boundaries are a tricky area for most people.  They are necessary so that people don’t infringe on your time to your detriment.  Also, they are necessary to help prevent taking on things that are too much, or not your responsibility.  There are many types of boundaries, and many have to do with emotional issues and relationships. While these may also be an underlying cause of some of your stress, that will require some help and support to change.  For the purpose of this blog, I am referring more to setting boundaries on the need to do everything everyone asks you to do. If it is unreasonable, too much at the moment, not really your area – then remember that NO is a complete sentence.  I am not suggesting being rude. However, I find folks that have a hard time saying no, experience the need to defend and explain why they are saying no. If it is fair and legitimate – “sorry, I am going to have to say no this time” or its equivalent, is adequate.  You can attach other phrases, IF they are true – “I would really like to, ask me another time”, “I wouldn’t mind, but I have too many other deadlines to take this on”, you get the idea.

Self-care – important final take away. Practice self-care regularly, before you are overly stressed. It will prevent some escalation of stress induced issues. Taking care of yourself during stress is very important also.  Self-care is prevention and management. Identify practices that help you relax (e.g. yoga, meditation, mindfulness, physical activities). Keep a circle of friends and support and connect with them regularly. Then if you are in a bad space, it is not so hard to reach out to them.  Pursue fun and entertaining activities. Finally, identify any spiritual practices that are important to you (e.g. prayer, meditation, study, worship, gratefulness, being in nature). Integrate these in your life in stress, and during calmer times.

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