You watch as your sweet baby readies herself to take her first tentative steps in your direction.  She wants so much to get to you, and she’s been almost ready to walk for several days. She holds on to the edge of the couch, looks at you with eyes shining and a big grin on her face.  You wait a couple of feet away with arms outstretched, encouraging her to come to you. She lets go of the couch, and one step, two steps, almost three steps and she goes down onto her little tushie.

“You stupid baby!” you yell.  “You’re never going to walk. Why can’t you get this right!”

Right? No!  You’d never respond that way to this precious little girl.  You know that to say something like that to her would hurt her feelings and your relationship with her.  At that she might not learn to walk for a very long time.

However, I see this all the time.  I often did it myself. If I made a mistake or didn’t do something well, then I was there making comments like that in my mind.  

“I can never do this right.  What was I thinking? I can’t . . .   I don’t. . . I’m such a loser. . .”

So often our lives are filled with negative self-talk.  We don’t even realize it sometimes. It holds us back. Things we’d never say to someone else we find no problem saying to ourselves.  It takes its toll. No wonder we feel depressed, disheartened, unhappy, unloved, sick, and discouraged. That critical voice is constantly in our head and our brain believes what it is being told so it makes sure to live up to that reputation in our mind.  

We can change that.  We don’t have to live in that toxic environment we create for ourselves.  We can create a kinder, more gentle place inside ourselves. This kinder, more gentle place can nurture us to see ourselves with more compassion and become what we’d like to be.  It can help us to see that we are far closer to what we wish to be than we were ever willing to see.

I’d like to present a few suggestions to help us on our way to creating this kinder, more gentle place within us.  

Choose a notebook:  I get mine from the dollar store.  Composition notebooks are sturdy, have lots of pages, and they’re cheap.  

Start writing:  Note things you are grateful for, things that make you happy, ideas for things you’d like to do.

Become aware:  Notice when a negative thought comes up.  Restate it in your mind with hope. For instance, “I can’t . . .” Whatever it may be, change it to,“ I don’t know how, yet.”

Use affirmations:  Affirmations are positive statements designed to combat negative thoughts.  An affirmation needs to be in the present tense. Use positive words. Speak it as a statement of fact or truth.

Here are some examples of affirmations created by Louise Hay:

Today I listen to my feelings and I am gentle with myself

All that I seek is already within me.

My day begins and ends with gratitude and joy.

As I forgive myself it becomes easier to forgive others.

Say the affirmation many times during the day.  As you share the affirmation with your brain it will do what it can to make it true.  This can be uncomfortable at first because you may not believe the affirmation. As you say it over and over your brain will respond to help you believe and accept it.  Affirmations are very powerful.

There is much information and misinformation on the internet about affirmations.  Below are some sites that will give you sound information and advice about affirmations.  May they be powerful in helping you to create a kinder and more gentle place inside to live.

https://blog.mindvalley.com/positive-affirmations/

https://www.healthjourneys.com/

https://www.louisehay.com/affirmations/

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